Top 10 Things in Top 10 Lists

  1. Numbers. Ten of them, actually. Maybe Roman, most likely Arabic.
  2. Letters. Possibly formulated into words. Whether they are cogent or in the correct order is irrelevant.
  3. Recommendations for other Top 10 Lists. Why are you seeing a link to “Top Ten Ways to Romance a Goat?" Because algorithms. That’s how the Internet reads your twisted little mind.
  4. Arbitrary metrics. After several minutes of lackadaisical brainstorming, these are the qualifications settled on by the writers before they returned to Netflix.
  5. Something you disagree with. Which is unheard of, given how you are clearly the world’s leading expert on this topic.
  6. Something you agree with, since you are most definitely the world’s leading expert on this topic.
  7. Punctuation. Periods, commas, apostrophes, and maybe even whatever this is: {.
  8. Mandatory “controversial” entry. A truly brave and groundbreaking stance based on purely upstanding principles.
  9. Half-hearted defense of mandatory “controversial” entry. Apologetic and lukewarm justification of those upstanding principles.
  10. Lazy writing.